Lisa Martin

QotD

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 18:58:51 GMT

I'm looking for backing for an unauthorized auto-biography that I am writing. Hopefully, this will sell in such huge numbers that I will be able to sue myself for an extraordinary amount of money and finance the film version in which I will play everybody.

I re-invented my image so many times that I'm in denial that I was originally an overweight Korean woman.

- David Bowie

Ye gods, those are funny :)

Harry Potter Broadcast System

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 13:04:58 GMT

Warner Bros. Mexico has confirmed to Blog Hogwarts that the official teaser trailer for Half-Blood Prince will be released on August 1, 2008, when it will be attached to the forthcoming The Mummy: Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor.

We are currently unaware of the online release date for the trailer, and will update with more information about the teaser when we receive information.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince hits theatres November 21, 2008.

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 22:06:31 GMT

Have you ever had one of those weird experiences where you think a couple friends of yours hate each other and find out they don't? Or the opposite?

Yeah ... me too :(

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 11:20:11 GMT

It's my birthday! And my first present this morning? Megan sneezing snot all over me. Needless to say, my other plans are now on hold since she won't be going to school today.

Happy 31st birthday to me! :)

And this made me LOL ... even made Megan LOL, but she didn't know why :P

Credit to HedgehogBeeblebrox

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 19:34:55 GMT

ZOMG! I have been so busy this past week that I totally forgot about a birfdai!

Happy Birthday brian_dare!

Sorry I am late :(

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 11:49:03 GMT

WELCOME TO THE INTERNET!!
- The men are men
- The women are usually men
- 15 year old girls are FBI agents

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 11:42:40 GMT

Mom sent me this meme, now you have to do it!

Its fun!!! You opened it, you have to do it. Then, send it back to
the person who sent it to you and the rest of your friends!

Two names you go by:
1. Mommy
2. K-Fish

Two things you are wearing right now:
1. Mentionables
2 Sunglasses

Two of your favorite things to do:
1. Play WoW
2. Sleep

Things you want very badly
1. A good job
2. A degree

Two favorite pets you have had/have
1. Cesar
2. Petey and Paula

Two people who will complete this:
1. Faith
2. Cristine

Two things you did last night:
1. Played WoW
2. Slept

Two things you ate today:
1. Nothing yet
2. Still nothing yet

Two people you last talked to:
1. Andy
2. Tom

Two things you plan on doing tomorrow:
1. Look for a job
2. Play WoW

Two longest trips taken in the last five years:
1. Pennsylvania
2. Colorado

Two favorite holidays:
1. New Year's Day
2. Halloween

Two favorite beverages:
1. Rootbeer Float
2. A good (pronounced expensive) red wine

Now, here's what you're supposed to do ... and please do
not spoil the fun. Hit forward, delete my answers and type
in your answers. Then send this to a whole bunch of people
you know INCLUDING the person who sent it to you. TAG,
YOU'RE IT!!

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 11:45:56 GMT

I honestly can't remember if I ever posted the requested pics of the paint job I did in Megan's room, so here it is :)

So there you have it. Stay tuned, I'll be posting pics of our most recent improvements soon :)

The virus of meme continues

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 18:24:49 GMT

Ganked from siriuslysnogged

Only use one word, no explaining.

1. Yourself: Cranky.
2. Your Lover: Geek.
3. Your Hair: Messy.
4. Your Mother: Autistic.
5. Your Father: Absent.
6. Your Favorite Item: Computer.
7. Your Dream Last Night: Rohypnol.
8. Your Favorite Drink: Float.
9. Your Dream Home: Comfortable.
10. The Room You Are In: Office.
11. Your Pet: Imaginary.
12. Who You Are Now: Mother.
13. Who You Want To Be In Ten Years: Stable.
15. What You Don't Wanna Be: Crazy.
16. Your Best Friends: Understanding.
17. One of Your Wish List Items: Rubies.
18. Your Gender: Female.
19. The Last Thing You Did: Purchased.
20. What You Are Wearing: Clothing.
21. Your Favorite Weather: Cool.
22. Your Favorite Book: Varies.
23. The Last Thing You Ate: Cheeseburger.
24. Your Life: Meh.
25. Your Mood: Swampy.
26. Your Favorite Store: Online.
27. Your Favorite Sport: Football.
28. Favorite Memory: Water.
29. Who Do You Miss Right Now: Freedom.

Ganked from pktaxwench and incognito_one

1. Name: Lisa Michelle

2. Age: 30, but Jamie will always be older than me (he he he) {yeah, so I copied lol}

3. Location: Holiday, Florida, which is no holiday I promise you.

4. Occupation: Aimless layabout, shiftless dreamer, student and parent.

5. Partner: Tom. We can't stand each other though :P

6. Kids: Just one at the moment, although I am technically the step-mother to a child I am not allowed to see, his mom's rules.

7. Siblings: An autistic sister and a half-brother that I haven't seen since I was 10, my step-mother's rules.

8. Pets: None, although I wouldn't mind a snake or something.

9. List the 3-5 biggest things going on in your life:
-Trying to get classes done.
-Trying to not be so embarrassed of my house (ie - painting and stuff)
-Trying to get a job in this shit-ass economy

10. Where and for what did you go to school for?
SPC, thinking of either going into some sort of a medical field or secondary education, where maybe I can teach anat/phys.

11. Parents:
Yes.

12. Who are your closest friends:
incognito_one, radi0radi0, pktaxwench, and Darr.

13. Do you drink/smoke?: On occassion I'll drink. And I do smoke, but usually just at night.

14. Tattoos/Piercings: 2 holes in each ear, one closed up tongue piercing. 2 tattoos, but want more.

FAQ : So you have a demon

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 12:52:05 GMT

FAQ: So you have a demon

Demons are funny things. Well not so much "funny." More like terrifying. They can either be a simple angry spirit that hurls kitchen knives at you, or they can take the physical shape of some multi-tenticled hellspawn with six mouths and a mind that telepathically screams words and images capable of plunging you into a nightmare realm of torture. But whatever your class of demonic possession, this handy FAQ will help you deal with it.

Let's get started!

I have awoken to a horrible sound coming from my living room.

You should probably go and investigate to see what is going on. Considering this is a booklet on demons, coming face-to-face with one is a startlingly possible scenario.

There seems to be some kind of...goat...in my living room, eating my throw pillows.

If it is simply a goat, consider calling animal control. Or simply shoo it out of your house and into the street where someone else will deal with it. I'm sure someone is looking for their goat.

It has six legs and a tail made purely of bone. I doubt this is a regular goat.

Then it is probably a demon. I fucking told you so. A goat is commonly associated with hell and demonic imagery. Booyah.

Should I still try to remove it myself?

Probably not. You have no idea what kind of powers this particular demon possesses. For all you know it's a soul-eater.

A what?

A soul-eater. You know, feast on your immortal, holy vessel? If it manages to devour your soul, you'll know nothing but suffering for all of eternity.

I'm kinda scared.

Odds are it isn't a soul-eater. That is reserved for a higher class of demon. Usually something that looks more...demony.

I still don't know what to do about the goat-thing.

Has it noticed you yet? If it hasn't, try to get it's attention. If you are lucky, it's simply lost on our mortal plane, and will run back the festering womb from which it was spawned.

I hit it in the head with a coffee table book. It looks pissed.

Which coffee table book did you hit it with?

Seasons by Frans Heidrich.

Fuck, that book sucks. No wonder you only managed to make it angry.

I fail to see what my choice of book has to do with anything.

Look, just don't sweat it. You have a couple of options here. On the one hand, you can try and fight it. If you are a particularly religious sort...

I'm not.

Then you might want to consider the other option of...

The goat has torn one of my kidneys out, and is eating it.

This means you have encountered a Gnuth T'kour. This is a special class of demon with a particular fondness for human organs. They are usually employed by Satan to eat the innards of the worst sinners. These organs grow back with each passing day, so the sinners are forced to have their own intestines eaten in front of them until the end of time. Legend has it that...

The goat has removed a large portion of my small intestine.

He's already onto your gut? Man, you are fu...

The goat is devouring my liver.

Your last hope is to carve a pentagram on your chest and accept Satan as your lord and master. This might sway the Lord of Darkness into giving you a less demeaning eternity in hell. Like scooping up the fetid shit of the crucified, or waxing his evil Mercedes.

Satan drives a Mercedes?

Yes, yes he does.

I think I'm dead.

You can't be dead if you are asking questions.

...

Now you are dead.

Credit to : http://www.papertank.com/article/FAQ_So_you_have_a_demon

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 17:27:24 GMT

Get More Now!

There is such a thing as having boobs that are too big.

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 17:22:54 GMT

You Are 80% Abnormal

You are at high risk for being a psychopath. It is very likely that you have no soul.

You are at high risk for having a borderline personality. It is very likely that you are a chaotic mess.

You are at medium risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is somewhat likely that you are in love with your own reflection.

You are at high risk for having a social phobia. It is very likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement.

You are at medium risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is somewhat likely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 11:10:33 GMT

Ok, only the girls are going to really get this one ...

Don't you hate it when you lose track of time and can't remember your cycle? And for maybe a week you try to figure out when your last one was ... was it that weekend you were at the restaurant? No, you were wearing light pants ... etc etc ...

So, you get a bit paranoid and worry that you might be pregnant (if the situation applies) ... you accidentally missed a pill one day a couple weeks ago, maybe the little buggers got thru?! And the more you think about it, the more paranoid you become until you finally go down to the store and buy a test.

You come home, take the test, but no matter what, you are going to take the other test in the box in a few days anyway. That's why they give you two, because they know you will freak out and think the first might be faulty. You get the 'Not Pregnant' and breathe a little easier, but the 2nd test is still on the agenda. You get a few things done around the house before bed and settle in til the morning.

At which time, you get up and make your way sleepily to the bathroom. Where you make the discovery that you just wasted $10 on a test.

/facepalm

On the upside though, that Haunted Pub Crawl you are going on tonight can include alcohol now ... on the downside, by that time tonight, your cramps are going to make you loathe walking.

Meh ... you win some, you lose some :)

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 12:58:02 GMT

As a 1930s wife, I am
Average

Take the test!

Does the World of Warcraft DMT Kara Raiding Club count as a 'Woman's Organization'? ;)

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 13:28:59 GMT

Sat, 24 May 2008 04:04:43 GMT

more cat pictures

snagged from MySpacer, Phire Wunjo

Wed, 21 May 2008 17:19:51 GMT

The best ABC song ever.

(Thank to brian_dare for showing me how to use LJ ... normally I just c&p, but this time I actually had to DO something :P)

Mon, 19 May 2008 19:53:31 GMT

Happy nuptuals to George Takei :)

http://trekmovie.com/2008/05/17/george-takei-getting-married/

Wed, 14 May 2008 22:55:40 GMT

OMG LOL

Ok, my guild has been having a 'This is the Worst Music Video Ever' contest. That's where the 'I like Big Books' song came from. We have been trying to one up each other with awfulness. I am now going to sunject you all to it as well. I am very serious, these are hysterical in their awfulness. Some are non-work safe, but they are all really worth the watch/listen. I'll update as more come rolling in.

This one might be my favorite : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWOzUzJd6wM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bAN7Ts0xBo

Kinda punky : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pj-GIAACClc&NR=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPnGPIMUnus

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbknGnZXHUk (Admit it, you liked it when it came out!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0aXY2pM2sA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpI7znS8Fuc (I like this song, but the vid is crap)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzhL-0_pC3E (Ditto above)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhAHGOp7Pe4&feature=related

And before you ask, Yes. My guildees and I have too much time on our hands.

Wed, 14 May 2008 15:17:53 GMT

Have your sound on and be somewhere you can laugh out loud.

Sir Mix-a-Lot + Jesus = Baby Got Book

Tue, 13 May 2008 13:41:20 GMT

Woo! Eddie Izzard on Top Gear :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WlDA8FqaTk

And in other news, I am having a crisis. I have been boycotting a certain Tampa theatre (wink wink) for a while, but I just saw this a few days ago :

Tue, 06/17/08
08:00 PM Tampa Theatre
Tampa, FL Eddie Izzard
Find Tickets »

Wed, 06/18/08
08:00 PM Tampa Theatre
Tampa, FL Eddie Izzard
Find Tickets »

OH NOES! They are kind of expensive, by my current monetary status standards, but totally worth it, in my opinion. So I am having a crisis. Do I go, spending money I probably shouldn't but getting to see my favorite stand up comedian ever? Or do I be all responsible, miss the show and promise myself that when I am rich and famous, I'll simply fly somewhere to see him? And I have the geeky thoughts of 'I have been on that stage, right where he is, I have been in the dressing room where he is getting ready, and I know exactly where to stand for a couple hours after the show to get a photo and autograph' ... I haven't ever really wanted to meet and photo with someone, but this would rock my socks.

/cry

Sun, 11 May 2008 21:50:58 GMT

Getting food poisoning sucks. I have been truly achy and throwing up all day. This is crappy.

Sun, 11 May 2008 14:16:59 GMT

http://pen-and-umbra.livejournal.com/21431.html

This is awesomely funny :)

However, in other news, I feel dirty and violated. A mini fly, those black ones with really round wings, was flying around my head, but kinda weirdly. It landed and before splatting it, I actually looked at it becuase I thought there was something wrong with it, it looked deformed. And it was still kinda moving weird. Well, I finally figured out what I was looking at and was so disturbed that I forgot to splat before it flew away.

I accidentally watched flies fuck. I need a nap and brain-brillo. I think my day is shot.

Tue, 06 May 2008 20:02:09 GMT

I often wonder when watching movies about what actors think about fake accents.

Specifically, if a movie is done in England and 99% of the movie is British actors and then one character is played by a non-Brit, but using a British accent. What do the real Brits think?

Do they help with the accent or kind of ignore it and pretend that it isn't happening?

Is it better to fake an accent badly (Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins) or ignore that an accent is needed (Kevin Costner in Robin Hood)?

I dunno, I have been thinking about it a lot recently for some reason. Any opinions?

Sun, 04 May 2008 13:21:27 GMT

Ok, I'll do it!

Comment and I will:

₪ Tell you why I friended you.
₪ Associate you with something - fandom, song, color, photo, word etc.
₪ Tell you something I like about you.
₪ Tell you a memory I have of you.
₪ Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
₪ Tell you my favorite user pic of yours.
₪ In return, you must post this in your LJ.