| (no subject) |
[Mar. 13th, 2009|02:52 pm] |
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| |  dorky | ] |
Pudify means, 'to cause someone to be embarrassed'. I like it :)
www.savethewords.org |
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| The piggy bank |
[Mar. 12th, 2009|02:40 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | fun | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  mellow | ] |
So the young has been scrounging for change and hoarding it in her piggy bank. She has 'found' money that was taken out of pockets, claimed the change out of the cars, etc. So I asked her what she is saving her money for.
"I am going to get a beautiful Sleeping Beauty dress with a golden tiara and pink slippers (princess shoes)."
Where did this child come from, she is surely not of my blood.
:P |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 10th, 2009|08:26 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | fun | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  geeky | ] |
Yeah, I saw this mouse and instead of thinking, "Whoa, the people who would buy that need a life," I thought, "Whoa, I totally need that! I could do x and y and z and this would be better and ... oh no ... I need help."
http://www.steelseries.com/us/products/partners
Yes, I want it. |
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| An Open Letter |
[Mar. 5th, 2009|05:34 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | fun | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  amused | ] |
This was not written by me, although, it could have been ... Actually, it could have been written by almost any woman. It is fantastic and made me laugh out loud, causing the young to spill a bit of her Sprite ...
( AN OPEN LETTER TO ) |
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| Coitus Interruptus |
[Jan. 15th, 2009|05:23 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | fun | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused | ] |
Ok, so Tom and I are having a bit of 'us' time. Megan comes in a couple times to ask for this or that, but she had left us alone for a bit so we get down to business. Right near what would have been the end, the door opens.
She was taking a picture! She thought it was the funniest thing ever too.
Coitus effectively stopped. Laughter, excessive laughter, ensued :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 27th, 2008|09:37 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | fun | ] |
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Found these wedding cakes ... oh wow, they are completely awesome.
Jack and Sally
However the rest of the cakes on this website make you cringe and count your lucky stars you have never picked one of them up from a bakery.
Oh, and Faith, while I have your attention, you should create a profile on http://www.etsy.com/ for your claywork. |
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| Embarrassment Jeopardy! |
[Nov. 11th, 2008|07:53 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | fun | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cranky | ] |
I'll take 'Names I Would Change' for $2000, Alex.
What is 'Analcox'?
Yes, I actually found this name on a medical record today. Enjoy! |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 3rd, 2008|01:25 pm] |
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| | cranky | ] |
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you will have $49.00 today.
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you will have $33.00 today.
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you will have $0.00 today.
But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you will have received a $214.00.
Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.
A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year.
Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.
That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!
Makes you proud to be an American! |
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| Iron Chef, the video game? |
[Sep. 13th, 2008|08:39 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | fun | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  giggly | ] |
In my hunt for good pics of Masahiko Kobe, I have come across this little jewel :
In Iron Chef America: Supreme Cuisine players square off in Kitchen Stadium and battle through a series fast-paced and intense culinary challenges. Each victory advances players closer to a final showdown that will determine who will reign supreme as the next Iron Chef America. Iron Chef America: Supreme Cuisine is scheduled for a fall 2008 release.
If Megan actually liked the American version, this would almost talk me into buying a Wii. |
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| Where does she get this stuff?! |
[Sep. 13th, 2008|08:02 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | fun | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  distressed | ] |
Megan is home from school today and I was getting her some breakfast. She asked for Rice Krispies. Cereal is retrieved, bowled and milked. On a whim, I did the tv commercial thing. I lean down to the bowl as I am bringing it to her and say, "Your Rice Krispies are talking!" Megan says, "They are?!" I start to mentally pat myself on the back for being a good mommy as I reply, "Yeah! What are they saying?!" Megan leans down to the bowl, listens for a minute her eyes getting bigger and her mouth making an 'O' ...
"They're saying, 'Help! Help! Get me outta this bowl! Save me!'"
LOL :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 14th, 2008|09:39 am] |
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| | amused | ] |
Funniest dream I have had in a long time :
It was a cross between Friday the 13th, Sweeney Todd and Home Alone. Picture being chased by Jason, singing and setting up booby traps. It was really awesome. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 13th, 2008|07:01 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | fun | ] |
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| | cranky | ] |
Ok, only the girls are going to really get this one ...
Don't you hate it when you lose track of time and can't remember your cycle? And for maybe a week you try to figure out when your last one was ... was it that weekend you were at the restaurant? No, you were wearing light pants ... etc etc ...
So, you get a bit paranoid and worry that you might be pregnant (if the situation applies) ... you accidentally missed a pill one day a couple weeks ago, maybe the little buggers got thru?! And the more you think about it, the more paranoid you become until you finally go down to the store and buy a test.
You come home, take the test, but no matter what, you are going to take the other test in the box in a few days anyway. That's why they give you two, because they know you will freak out and think the first might be faulty. You get the 'Not Pregnant' and breathe a little easier, but the 2nd test is still on the agenda. You get a few things done around the house before bed and settle in til the morning.
At which time, you get up and make your way sleepily to the bathroom. Where you make the discovery that you just wasted $10 on a test.
/facepalm
On the upside though, that Haunted Pub Crawl you are going on tonight can include alcohol now ... on the downside, by that time tonight, your cramps are going to make you loathe walking.
Meh ... you win some, you lose some :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 25th, 2008|10:53 am] |
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| |  blah | ] |
You know someone really loves you when :
You've been sick and have blown your nose to the point that it is chapped, raw and very painful. Your SO says, "I don't think that lotion would be good, try chapstick." You reply that you don't have any chapstick. Your SO says that they do.
"You'd let me stick your chapstick on/in/around my nose?"
"Sure I would, I love you."
I may be loved, but I am still not sticking Tom's chapstick up my nose. :P |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 15th, 2008|08:53 am] |
Britain is Repossessing the U.S.A.
A Message from Britain
To the citizens of the United States of America:
In light of your failure to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and territories (except Kansas , which she does not fancy).
Your new prime minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.
A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.
1. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.
2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix -ize will be replaced by the suffix -ise.
Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').
3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as 'like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.
There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell- checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize. You will relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen.
4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent.
Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
7. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
8. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables.
Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
9. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline)-roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it.
10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
11. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager.
South African beer is also acceptable as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting Nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part ofBritish Commonwealth - see what it did for them.
12. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys.Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters.
Watching Andie McDowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
13. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body Armour like a bunch of nancies). Don't try Rugby - the South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you, like they regularly thrash us.
14. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America . Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
15. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad all these years.
16. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
17. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; strawberries in season.
God save the Queen. |
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| Tales from the School Side |
[Mar. 25th, 2008|05:30 pm] |
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| | amused | ] |
This comes courtesy of my Gen Psych class, and it was too funny to not share. Background : We were discussing the 7 types of intelligence.
Student : So, could you say that strippers have high Interpersonal intelligence?
Prof : Well, I sure would. *pulls out wallet* I only carry singles. After a stimulating lecture, there's nothing better than to go down to the strip bar and grade papers.
Different student : Is that why my test was wet?
Prof : In more ways than one, but I'll not go into the sordid details.
The Prof had the greatest straight face during all this while the class was laughing, but after that last comment and the class exploded, even he had to laugh. I love my class :) |
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| Recycle, or go to Hell says Vatican |
[Mar. 10th, 2008|10:09 am] |
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Recycle or go to Hell, warns Vatican
By Malcolm Moore in Rome
Last Updated: 12:01am GMT 10/03/2008
(click the link, or just read the c&p) http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/main.jhtml?xml=/earth/2008/03/10/eavatican110.xml
Failing to recycle plastic bags could find you spending eternity in Hell, the Vatican said after drawing up a list of seven deadly sins for our times.
The seven, which include polluting the environment, were announced by Monsignor Gianfranco Girotti, a close ally of the Pope and the head of the Apostolic Penitentiary, one of the Roman Curia's main court.
The "sins of yesteryear" - sloth, envy, gluttony, greed, lust, wrath and pride - have a "rather individualistic dimension", he told the Osservatore Romano, the official Vatican newspaper.
The new seven deadly, or mortal, sins are designed to make worshippers realise that their vices have an effect on others as well.
"The sins of today have a social resonance as well as an individual one," said Mgr Girotti. "In effect, it is more important than ever to pay attention to your sins."
According to Roman Catholic doctrine, mortal sins are a "grave violation of God's law" and bring about "eternal death" if unrepented by the act of confession.
They are far more serious than venial sins, which impede a soul's progress in the exercise of virtue and moral good.
Mgr Girotti said genetic modification, carrying out experiments on humans, polluting the environment, causing social injustice, causing poverty, becoming obscenely wealthy and taking drugs were all mortal sins. |
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