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[Mar. 12th, 2009|11:52 pm] |
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| |  amused | ] |
Ferrets don't have an attention span long enough to anally rape somebody.
- Faith |
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| QotD |
[Nov. 6th, 2008|12:52 pm] |
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| | amused | ] |
Sharks trump teats every time, sorry.
- me |
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| Quote of the Day |
[Oct. 9th, 2008|09:02 am] |
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| [ | mood |
| |  giggly | ] |
Remember, Jesus would rather constantly shame gays than let orphans have a family.
- Steven Colbert |
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| QotD |
[Jul. 17th, 2008|02:58 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | qotd | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused | ] |
I'm looking for backing for an unauthorized auto-biography that I am writing. Hopefully, this will sell in such huge numbers that I will be able to sue myself for an extraordinary amount of money and finance the film version in which I will play everybody.
I re-invented my image so many times that I'm in denial that I was originally an overweight Korean woman.
- David Bowie
Ye gods, those are funny :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 24th, 2008|07:48 am] |
WELCOME TO THE INTERNET!!
- The men are men
- The women are usually men
- 15 year old girls are FBI agents |
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| QotD |
[Dec. 27th, 2007|09:30 am] |
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| | amused | ] |
"My perfect cup of tea would be a body shot off Kiera Knightly."
- Tom |
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| A second! QotD |
[May. 28th, 2007|11:23 am] |
"If penises could walk and talk, the circumcised penis would be a suit and tie, a clean shave and a shoulder-high salute. The intact penis would be a rumpled shirt, a five o'clock shadow and a finger flipping you the bird."
- Circumcision in America
And even after reading this, I still support circumcision. I have see a number of small boys who have terrible foreskin problems simply because the parents (yes, the fathers also) were so afraid of hurting the boy by pulling back too far, that they weren't cleaning as thoroughly as they thought. And that, if the boys are anything to go by, is an excruciating thing to go through.
I have never seen an uncut in person, and that is fine with me, I think they look very odd. I have also read that uncut have more chance of transmitting STI's because of more places that (like above) might not be getting cleaned properly. However, this can go back and forth arguing for and against, citing hundreds of articles supporting both sides. This is something that will likely never be resolved.
Much like my issue of getting the dishes done. |
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| Quote of the Day |
[May. 28th, 2007|10:04 am] |
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| [ | mood |
| |  cranky | ] |
"In my lifetime, we've gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We've gone from John F. Kennedy to Al Gore. If this is evolution, I believe that in 12 years, we'll be voting for plants."
- Lewis Black |
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| Quote of the Day |
[Apr. 26th, 2007|09:25 pm] |
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| [ | mood |
| | amused | ] |
Seen on a bumper sticker :
Dear God,
I like your Jesus.
I do not like your Christians.
They are nothing like your Jesus. |
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| Quote of the Day |
[Mar. 26th, 2007|09:02 am] |
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| [ | mood |
| |  awake | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Tom trying to wake up | ] |
"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life." - Winston Churchill |
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| Quote of the Day |
[Aug. 5th, 2006|02:39 pm] |
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| [ | mood |
| |  ehh, whatever | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Elmo in Grouchland | ] |
I grew up with an impatience with the anti-scientific. So I'm a bit miffed with our current love affair with all things Eastern. If I sneeze on the set, 40 people hand me echinacea. But I'd no sooner take that than eat a pencil. Maybe that's why I took up boxing. It's my response to men in white pajamas feeling each other's chi.
- Hugh Laurie |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 8th, 2006|05:45 pm] |
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| [ | mood |
| | ehh, whatever | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Tom cooking dinner | ] |
If we walk into Home Depot with zero dollars, and patio furniture is 25% off, we're still walkin' out wit nuthin'.
- Tom |
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| Quote of the Day |
[Apr. 3rd, 2006|10:16 am] |
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| [ | where |
| | Work | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Grease Soundtrack | ] |
I miss the old days where a man would build a skyscraper with his bare hands just to make you stop hitting him with a shovel.
- My Dilbert calendar |
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| Blast from the Past Quotes, Pt 1 |
[Jan. 17th, 2006|08:13 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | fun, qotd | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  discontent | ] |
| [ | music |
| | None | ] |
These are blasts from the past. Quotes that I had gathered years ago. I am dusting them off for my new audience to enjoy. So ... enjoy!
Disclaimer : All quotes were at the time gathered, with the knowledge and permission of those being quoted, unless it was taken from a public website, or it is listed as anonymous.
( Beware! Some sexual innuendo in these quotes! ) |
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| Quote of the Day |
[Dec. 3rd, 2005|12:18 pm] |
If nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies.
- Seen on a plaque |
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| Quote of the Day |
[Oct. 13th, 2005|04:54 pm] |
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| [ | mood |
| |  working | ] |
| [ | music |
| | none | ] |
Daycare workers get paid less than Zookeepers.
- Kelsey Conklin
Y'know, some would say that is the same profession.
- Lisa |
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| Quote of the Day and a game :) |
[Sep. 19th, 2005|10:07 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | fun, qotd | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Dora the Explorer | ] |
QotD : You are the licorice to our Jelly Belly of Love. - ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) jamieswoman
Game : I am going to post obituary headlines. Assuming that people die as they lived, can you guess whose obit is whose? PS - I screened comments *insert evil laugh*
Obits :
1. Man found shot to death with d20, d10, d8 sizes. He was slumped over his laptop, screen showed WoW login screen. His costume was in good condition.
2. Woman found crushed under massive self-sculpted penises.
3. Man drowns in hair dyeing accident. Authorities puzzled over presence of vat of hot wax.
4. Man found dead wearing fishnets, black nail polish and camo. Jewish guilt suspected as culprit.
5. Man found run over by own wheelchair. Witnesses state 'He could walk just fine'.
6. Man found in tragic implosion accident, repression suspected. Those close to him say, "He loomed to the last".
7. Man found dead in apparent inner ear explosion. Famous George Lucas film and high end stereo equipment to blame.
8. Man reported missing, last words reportedly, 'I have to check my inventory, then I am going to Vegas, then I have a WoW marathon and after that I have DnD and then Rocky ..........'. Foul play not suspected.
9. Man found dead of shock, HD television playing gay porn upon discovery. Sources close to him say that he should have cared more what he was watching.
10. Woman found wasted away to 43 lbs, Weight Watchers suspected. Her breasts account for 25 of the pounds recovered.
11. Man found drawn and quartered after being pulled in too many directions. His employer reportedly to attempt reconstruction due to being 'the only man left in his department'.
12. Man found dead, severe spaz attack to blame.
13. Woman found bludgeoned to death by giant sunflower. Ferrets being questioned.
14. Woman found dead of dehydration after eight day fanfic reading marathon. Sources close to her not surprised.
15. Man electrocuted when Jack Daniels spills on radio equipment.
16. Woman found strangled by gold bra. The Sword of Damocles has been brought in for questioning.
17. Man stabbed by karate trophy after tripping over guitar strap. Man found extending middle finger at poster that simply read 'The Man'.
18. Woman found drywalled into her garage. Over enthusiasm, not foul play, suspected to be culprit.
19. Man found dead covered in flyers for annual Rocky Horror showing. Witnesses in area only whistled innocently.
People :
a. iveegrein
b. axory
c. angel4711
d. pktaxwench
e. janric
f. Chandler
g. Tom
h. Andy
i. watchingdragon
j. superjew4711
k. eddiehorror
l. jamieswoman
m. jamieniles
n. brian_dare
o. darkwing2022
p. geodiaz
q. Scott
r. Chrystal
s. lisamartin
House Points will be given! No cheating, you know who you are! |
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| Quote of the Day |
[Sep. 1st, 2005|01:43 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | qotd | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Baby monitor | ] |
Airwolf, Knight Rider, The A-Team, MacGyver and The Wizard. Those are the shows that I liked as a kid. Kinda puts my macho-ism into perspective, huh? - Lisa
You have a dick. And I'm really gay aren't I? - Tom
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
EDIT : btw, The Wizard that I am referring to was starring David Rappaport :) |
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| Quotes |
[Aug. 28th, 2005|02:40 pm] |
Here is the mighty comeback of ... The Rocky Quote Page!
This was a regular item on the IP cast website, but after I left cast (I am not a fan of being physically intimidated and yelled at), the quotes stagnated. Proven by the fact that I have been off cast for over 18 months, and in that time, only 3 new quotes have been taken and posted for posterity. However, last night, there was a Rocky Party that I attended. Here is some quotes, and keep in mind, these are only a fraction of the ones that were likely said, but I was getting drunk and couldn't keep up.
( Warning, this contains non sexual references that sound really dirty )
All in all, I had a great time and was very happy seeing so much of the old crowd. There were people that I hadn't thought I would ever see again that were there, and that made me very glad to have gone.
*grumble*
40 points to Gryffindor for darkwing2022 for organizing the party.
30 points to Unknown House for geodiaz for organizing the party and hosting it.
And blanket 25 points to all houses because of all the fun that there was ... all Houses were represented and we all had a great time. Yes, even Sparklypoo, because Darkwing Jr was there and he was having fun too :)
House Standings :
Gryffindor : 100
Ravenclaw : 85
Slytherin : 120
Sparklypoo : 75
Unknown : 85
Hufflepuff : 25
*takes off her 'I am a BIG FAT DORK!' hat and goes to make some nachos and take a Tylenol* |
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curious
calm